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solipsistnationDropped off load 5 today. This one was a little harder-- it was mostly Mac stuff. I've spent so much time coveting Mac things, it's difficult to think of it as waste. I'm admitting to myself that all these projects will never happen. I'll never fix up and figure out the Mac IIfx and ancient Kurta tablet I was given a while back. I'll never sort out all the weird old nubus video cards I have kicking around. I'll never do anything with the LCII (although I'm keeping the Apple II card that was in it, because it's so weird and rare). I'll never find a use for the 15" monochrome portrait monitor. I'll never, I'll never I'll never. That's a strange thing to say.
It's freeing, though. Without all this STUFF weighing me down, I am beginning to feel like I can focus on the things that have come to matter more. Guitar, writing, friends, people, things happening in my life right now. Work. Other things. Not-dead-computers. Basically, ANYTHING but more dead computers. It's like the audio effects from earlier this year-- they weigh on me.
Next up, more Macs. Other random hardware. Dead projects. Ancient reference manuals.
It's very strange. I've spent quite a lot of my life in search of STUFF. Acquiring stuff, selling stuff, trading stuff. I'm not sure if I'll still go to the MIT Flea next summer. This year, it became almost a chore. Our finances were so bad that I had to-- each month, I hoped I'd make at least a certain amount, and then use it to pay bills and keep things easier. Searching for gear in Fuller became almost druglike. I loathed myself for doing it, but still did. That video card could be worth a buck to somebody! Ooh, a box of old hard drives-- I can get ten bucks for those!
And now I'm done with it. Done. All done. Nobody will believe me, but my GOD, I've thrown out a lot of hardware. I'm giving things away to people if they need them or want them. I'm trying not to feel sad when I see stuff I gathered spread out across the loading dock, hard drives pulled out and parts all over the place. It's just stuff. There's more out there. It was mind, sure, but now I've set it free and in doing so set myself free as well.
I also posted my old digital audio workstation to eBay. It was a glorious and enviable machine when it was new, but I haven't turned it on in more than a year, and I certainly haven't done anything useful with it. I'm done with it. My laptop has taken over entirely. I just need to back up the important stuff and decide what can be nuked. Another piece of my life, farewell. Marathon and Quake, there you go. Experiments with 3dfx cards before the drivers were official? Lots of fun, but goodbye. Deck II? Too unstable these days on that system. Recording music on it has gotten to be such a pain that I never bother any more. Reason is so much easier. Garageband does most of the rest.
What's next? I find myself looking around the house for things to give away or get rid of. Not books or CDs. Not my laptop. Not my guitar. Not my game machine. But what else? So much stuff.
It's freeing, though. Without all this STUFF weighing me down, I am beginning to feel like I can focus on the things that have come to matter more. Guitar, writing, friends, people, things happening in my life right now. Work. Other things. Not-dead-computers. Basically, ANYTHING but more dead computers. It's like the audio effects from earlier this year-- they weigh on me.
Next up, more Macs. Other random hardware. Dead projects. Ancient reference manuals.
It's very strange. I've spent quite a lot of my life in search of STUFF. Acquiring stuff, selling stuff, trading stuff. I'm not sure if I'll still go to the MIT Flea next summer. This year, it became almost a chore. Our finances were so bad that I had to-- each month, I hoped I'd make at least a certain amount, and then use it to pay bills and keep things easier. Searching for gear in Fuller became almost druglike. I loathed myself for doing it, but still did. That video card could be worth a buck to somebody! Ooh, a box of old hard drives-- I can get ten bucks for those!
And now I'm done with it. Done. All done. Nobody will believe me, but my GOD, I've thrown out a lot of hardware. I'm giving things away to people if they need them or want them. I'm trying not to feel sad when I see stuff I gathered spread out across the loading dock, hard drives pulled out and parts all over the place. It's just stuff. There's more out there. It was mind, sure, but now I've set it free and in doing so set myself free as well.
I also posted my old digital audio workstation to eBay. It was a glorious and enviable machine when it was new, but I haven't turned it on in more than a year, and I certainly haven't done anything useful with it. I'm done with it. My laptop has taken over entirely. I just need to back up the important stuff and decide what can be nuked. Another piece of my life, farewell. Marathon and Quake, there you go. Experiments with 3dfx cards before the drivers were official? Lots of fun, but goodbye. Deck II? Too unstable these days on that system. Recording music on it has gotten to be such a pain that I never bother any more. Reason is so much easier. Garageband does most of the rest.
What's next? I find myself looking around the house for things to give away or get rid of. Not books or CDs. Not my laptop. Not my guitar. Not my game machine. But what else? So much stuff.
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Re:
Date: 2004-02-23 06:07 pm (UTC)Oh, yeah, retrocomputing. I'm TOTALLY keeping my Commodore 64 (once
Apple IIc
Date: 2004-02-23 07:42 pm (UTC)I actually have my Apple IIgs setup in my kitchen, haven't had much time to use it, or play w/the CompactFlash adaptor I bought for it so I could run everything I wanted off a CF card instead of bothering w/floppies or a large hard drive.
Re: Apple IIc
Date: 2004-02-24 03:25 am (UTC)One of the cute little CRT's on the C-shaped metal stand.
I've never even seen one of the LCD's...
(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-23 05:59 pm (UTC)no lie, i've seen it with my own two eyes.
letting go is quite the process, but really. if suddenly you look around and go oh noes!!! i haev no stuffsss!!! i am no longar a mad haxxxxx!!! ... you know you can always find more. seriously.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-23 07:34 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-23 08:20 pm (UTC)--lizzie, who was told to take photos of her beautiful flowers once (for posterity), which she did, then the guy who gave her the flowers broke up with her, and when she later found those photos, she burned them, and it felt SOOOOO GOOOOOOOOD.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-23 11:55 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-23 07:45 pm (UTC)I should probably get rid of some of my old macs, like my Mac II with the PMMU that I bought for it! or the IIci's that I have (that I wanted so badly in 1992 to have!)
But thats why we have ebay, reuse, etc. :)
(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-24 03:27 am (UTC)There's a guy who frequents the MIT Flea who _is_ collecting one of each Mac ever made. He's got a checklist, and he always comes by and looks at everything everyone has, looking for those rare and weird variants, like the 6214 and the 6216 and so on...
He had an Apple set-top box thing a while back. That was pretty neat.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-24 05:32 am (UTC)I don't think we've ever encountered MIT comprehensive Mac collection guy at the Flea. (Is it a bad sign for Mac addiction that you have one guy at the Flea who sells Macintoshes that you consider to be *your* Mac guy? Heh.)
(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-23 10:39 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-24 03:26 am (UTC)Sure.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-24 04:12 am (UTC)