cocooning

[solipsistnation]

For the past few weeks I've been slowly feeling more and more like just hiding out and not leaving my house for, say, a month. Even sitting at my desk, I HATE that there's open space behind me, and I want a wall, a ceiling, a den, something to block out the goddamn fluorescent lights so I can hide and be warm and safe in the dark with my headphones. Some of it is the season and the rapid drift into autumn and seasonal depression, but some of it is the world overall, and having to deal with other people and fix broken things and continue to function. I want to not have to function for a while.

I don't really want to leave the house. I don't want to go out and about. I don't want to see people. (No offense meant to those people at all, though.) I have been avoiding driving. I have very little food in the house. I'm out of red wine, and down to two bottles of white (one of which is waiting for a special occasion).

I have a four-foot-tall stack of books to read, including but not limited to two new Terry Pratchett books, the latest Neal Stephenson book, "Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell," another horrible bleak thing by the guy who wrote "Altered Carbon," and others I'm forgetting. I have two guitars I love to play (and one I ought to haul out and tune up again and see how it sounds now that I'm better at it) and all kinds of things to do. But I suspect that if I stay home, it's mostly going to involve a blanket wrapped around my head.

Eh, anyway. I'm not looking for boobookitty here, just attempting to explain why I may appear to be hiding out.

Comments

[7threality.livejournal.com]

About all I can say is yup. I wish I could win the lottery just so I could tell the world to fuck off for a while, at least until I'm ready to deal with it again.

[dariusk.livejournal.com]

...you're hiding out because you hate me! Just because I sit in my parked car outside your house at all hours of the day doesn't mean you shouldn't leave. How else will I be able to follow you?? Huh??

[shadow27.livejournal.com]

If you haven't you should try getting a daylight balanced lightbulb and putting it in a lamp on your desk. One of my editors has S.A.D. and that's what he does to help mitigate it's effects.

[solipsistnation.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I've considered it. Maybe I'll do that...

Do they sell those all over the place, or do I have to go searching for them?

[shadow27.livejournal.com]

I think you can get them about everywhere. If they don't have one at your grocery store you shouldn't have to look farther than HQ or Home Despot.

[usagijer.livejournal.com]

full spectrum bulbs ? in Worcester, I've seen them at Living Earth and Loews.

so, next time you're out for some granola or plywood, stop and pick one up.

[kadath.livejournal.com]

Resisting...granola/plywood joke...

[usagijer.livejournal.com]

but I spent so much time setting it up...

[kadath.livejournal.com]

Too late now. The moment has passed.

I shall instead mock other vegetarian food. Tofu is slimy! Ha!

[buddhagrrl.livejournal.com]

GE Reveal are pretty good and available all over and in different types besides standard. I've replaced most of the lights in my apartment with them (except a few energy saver bulbs I've held onto because I feel guilty about how much I need to have my lights on) and it makes me really feel different in my home than I do when I have "normal" lightbulbs. Normal bulbs wash everthing out in this sickly yellow - which you'd think would be more "warm" feeling than the more bluish tones of the fuller spectrum bulbs, but yellow really isn't all that warm or happy without other light to make it not seem sickly.

I also have GE Reveal bulbs in my desktop lamps at work. While I dont often need the extra lighting, I will just turn them on anyway when I feel overwhelmed by the flourescents and the lack of daylight. I also am considering wearing a hat in the office so the flourescent lights don't beam straight down onto my face.

[awfief.livejournal.com]

dude, checked your meds recently? that and the suggestions for the light. or take a walk during lunch. . .

[krzzl.livejournal.com]

If nothing else, I think stop & shop delivers to the Worcester area now...

[jehanna.livejournal.com]

Poopie. Good luck with the light bulb idea, I think it's probably a good one.

*huggles*.