a side order of insecurity

[solipsistnation]

Okay, so I'm getting better at guitar. And I can put together decent little synthpop songs if I sit down and put my mind to it. And I can write pretty well.

So, now that I have these skills, what the hell do I have to say?



This comes from a conversation I was having last night-- does art have to SAY SOMETHING? Does it even have to be about anything? Could I just put together songs about... nothing? (Note: I FUCKING HATE SEINFELD.)

There are a couple of ways to go about it-- songs about random stuff, a la Brian Eno, who uses sounds and puts words around them, generating tantalizing lyrics that seem to almost mean something but elude close examination. There's Wire, who just use words as sounds and although you could claim that "Kidney Bingoes" is a scathing attack on Thatcherism and the terrible economy of England during the Thatcher years, you'd just be making it up. There's The Mountain Goats approach-- write songs about whatever comes to mind. Peanuts? Yay peanuts! The Celts? Sure! Tollund Man? There you go! People sitting around watching game shows and drinking as their house and their lives fall apart around them? Yay!

I have this vague plan that, once I get my recording stuff set up again, I'm
going to attempt to do a Song-A-Day, or a Song-A-Week thing. Just sit down,
write a song, hash it out in, say, half an hour, and go with it. It'd be not
unlike ms. bustedwonder's speed paintings,
which I really admire. It's like the advice that writers give when asked the
most basic question: "How do you write?" You just SIT DOWN AND DO IT. I've
got all this new time every day-- I need to use it for something that means
something to me, because otherwise I'm just floating.

Barriers to this:

- my standards. I listen to lots of really good music. I hold myself to the
same standards. I need to loosen up and let things go. Favorite quote from
favorite
storyline of favorite comic: "If something is worth doing, it's worth
doing badly." In other words, you want to create? Go out there and damn well
create. you will suck at first. you will get better through practice.

- time. this, I think, has recently improved. That's the hope, anyway. Plus,
no lengthy commute means less exhaustion.

- gear issues. Having the wavestation crash and having to deal with MIDI and
software and the damn DP/4 was horrible. I have a nice cheap little multiFX
box now (QuadraVerb 4 or MIDIverb 4 or something-- it's in a box now and I
don't remember. "What's the best used FX box I can get for a hundred bucks?"
"Here you go.") for basic stuff, and a bunch of little tiny synths for
little tiny synth things.

- space issues. Well, okay, so all my crap is in big piles right now. I'm
going to attempt to build a space less cluttered. I know, fat chance of
that, but it's a thought. At least I have nice big closets in which I can
hide things. And I'm carefully considering my space-layout options in order
to make the space as usable as possible.

I dunno. It's the same whining I've been doing all along. "Eh, it's broken.
"Eh, effort." "Eh, gotta rewire that stuff." "Mmm, the software is flaky."

Maybe this time for sure?